Life as a Full Time Working mom can be rewarding but some days are extra challenging. Today was one of those challenging days.
I’ll be honest with you. This was a tough week. I didn’t have this post scheduled. I originally intended to post another holiday gift guide or something else along those lines, but I was having one of those days that many of us working moms have and I needed to lay it all out on the line. Being a full time working mom is NOT easy.
I knew if I was feeling this way, many other moms out there are feeling the same way and maybe I can help you feel just a little bit less isolated.
What we do every day is more than exhausting, we’re doing two full-time jobs, but we are strong and we can do this.
Life as a Full Time Working Mom
This one is for you. The full time working mom out there who feels defeated. Like you just can’t do it today.
Your alarm clock goes off at 6:30 am, you snooze until 6:40 thinking that extra 10 minutes might give you the boost you need. It doesn’t.
Your kid was sick last night so you didn’t get much sleep. Sleep your exhausted brain so badly needed.
But she needed you more. So there you slept by her side without a second thought.
You’re tired and beaten down but you would give anything for your child, even yourself.
You feel exhausted but you pull your aching, tired body out of bed. You didn’t leave enough time to shower. Guess there’s always tomorrow.
You walk into your daughter’s room to wake her up and get her ready for daycare. She loves playing with her friends, but you still feel an aching guilt every day for not spending more time with her.
You hear people say things like “Savor every minute” and “They grow up so fast”. You know this. This worsens the ache.
You feel sad, but you bring her to daycare. She clings to you and doesn’t want you to go. The teacher peels her off of you screaming. You keep a brave face, tell her “I Love You”, and walk out the door.
You cry driving to work. It’s already been a long day and it is barely 8 am. You know she’s alright, but you feel like a terrible mom.
You get to work and you enter an entirely different dimension where your personal cares and worries can’t exist. Nobody cares you had a stressful morning. You try to do your best, but your heart is off at daycare. Your job demands top performance even though you feel your brain is working at about 10% capacity.
HR tells you to prioritize your mental health, but it doesn’t feel like they mean it.
If they did, you would be allowed to time off and the resources you need to take care of yourself.
Most of your vacation days are not restorative. They are spent taking care of sick kids that can’t go to daycare or other household needs.
Last year you didn’t use any days. You saved them all for maternity leave since your office doesn’t offer paid parental leave.
You feel jealous when your coworkers talk about all the extra vacation days they carry over to the next year, but you start to get anxious in August when you only have 3 days and a whole lot of year left.
5 pm hits and you managed to make it through another workday. It felt like you wouldn’t.
You feel worked to the brink of a mental breakdown each and every day.
Sometimes you think maybe the mental breakdown is already here.
You cry on your way home releasing a day’s worth of built-up stress, frustration, and guilt.
You’ve thought about quitting so many times but you need the money.
You rush out the door to pick your daughter up from daycare on time. She sees you and runs to you with a big hug exclaiming, “Mommy!”. This makes you smile. The best part of the day.
You get home and your 2-year-old says “Mommy, play with me“, but you feel too tired and worn out to play. You get annoyed at her continuing to ask. You immediately feel guilty because you know she needs you.
It makes you feel frustrated you’ve given so much energy to your day job and now you don’t have any energy left over to do the one job you love the most.
You don’t have the mental stamina to be the parent you always dreamed about being.
You grow endlessly frustrated the system has been built for men and built for you to fail.
You are so exhausted. You find yourself wishing you had more time with your kids but then counting down every minute until bedtime. This makes you sad.
You wanted to be a mom your entire life and this is not the way you imagined it.
You fear your kids will just remember you being crabby and tired all the time.
You used to be you but now you’re not even sure who you is.
Someone asks “What do you like to do for fun?” and you don’t even know.
It has been so long since you’ve thought about yourself.
I see you. I hear you. I AM YOU.
Being a full-time working mom is something only other moms can understand. It’s exhausting and it’s never easy.
You are constantly conflicted between duty, money, heart, and head.
You are NOT alone.
You WILL make it through this.
You ARE a superhero.
YOU ARE A WORKING MOM.
If you or someone you know is struggling with anxiety, depression, or other mental illness. Do not hesitate to ask your doctor, family, or friends for help. The CDC has a number of free resources available on their website.